What does being a mother mean to you?
We all came from a woman,
We may have been raised by the same woman,
And we all have to leave that woman at some point in our life,
Sometimes at birth, sometimes later in life, sometimes she leaves us,
For whatever reason.
Relationships are hard and complex and riddled with expectations,
And the mother child relationship is really no different.
We place incredible expectations on our moms,
Whether she’s a 15 year old teen mom,Or a 30 year old business professional,
We place a ton of expectations on our moms.
She’s the one that is “suppposed” to love and nurture us forever, right?
There’s one thing I am certain of,
We love how we learn to love,
We mother how we learn to mother,
We know what we know, and we don’t know what we don’t know,
And one thing I’m sure I know, is that as mom’s we should give credit for the simple act of doing your best.
Maybe your mom didn’t show up the way you wanted her to,
Maybe she didn’t love you the way you wanted her to,
Maybe she doesn’t understand you, the way you want her to,
Maybe she was absent, maybe she abandoned you, maybe she wasn’t the mom you wanted,
But I am also certain of this,
She was the mother you needed to cross whatever hurdles you are meant to cross on your soul’s evolutionary path.
And, I’m willing to bet, she did the best she could.
Motherhood is hard.
Most often we enter into motherhood not even knowing who we are,
And often because our mother’s before us, and before them, didn’t know who they were either,
You’re given a human, while you’re still carrying all your own wounds and traumas,
You’re given a human, and you simply do the best that you can.
I grew up with a loving and caring Mother.
And she absolutely did the best she could.
I could look back and wish for this, wish for that, as I’m sure we all could,
But the bottom line is, my mother loved me, she would give her life for mine, and she absolutely did the best she could.
As I’m seven years deep into motherhood I think about all the things that get passed from generation to generation,
I look at my challenges as a mother, and I realize most of the stuff we carry with us, never belonged to us in the first place,
They are ancestral lines of healing that haven’t been healed,
AND AS A MOTHER, IT IS MY JOB TO COMPLETE THAT HEALING.
If I choose to. If I can be aware and conscious enough to realize that.
As a mother in a modern world, we face challenges unlike any other time in history.
We are left to motherhood almost completely alone.
As our mother’s before us, and before her.
And that’s not how it’s meant to be done,
So, if you’re failing, or you feel like you’re failing, I would offer you this….
FAIL FORWARD, AND FORGIVE YOURSELF DAILY…it’s not meant to be done the way we are doing it,
AND we have an incredible opportunity before us.
Although motherhood in a modern world is incredibly difficult, there is one saving grace,
We have more resources and opportunities than any other time in history.
We have opportunities to grow and evolve,
We have experts at our fingertips,
We have social media and ways to connect with communities that are searching for people that want to do all the same things.
We live in a day and age where you can go on instagram and hear from leading experts on how to improve, evolve, heal, and reconnect with who we truly are!
THAT IS FUCKING AMAZING!
So the next time you find yourself criticizing your Self, criticizing your mother, remember this….IT IS NOT MEANT TO BE DONE THIS WAY!
Give yourself a break mama,
You’re doing the best you can, and if you’re not, then tomorrow is a new day.
My challenge to you, is do something to grow and heal each day.
Find people that want to do the same.
Be the mother for your children that you wish you had, if you wish for that,
And then be the mother to your SELF that you wish you had.
There is powerful, powerful stuff in mothering your Self.
And let’s face it, we could all do with speaking a little kinder to our SELVES. A little softer.
A little gentler.
And naturally as you do this for you, it will flow to the other loves in your life,
Especially your children!
To my own mother,
I love you.
Thank you for being kind, compassionate, and raising me the way you did.
To all the other mother’s out there,
I love you.
Thank you for all you do, thank you for inspiring me, for hearing me, for seeing me, and for gathering with me, wherever that may be…
What did you learn from your Mother? Drop it in the comments my loves.