An open letter to the women I love…

Dear amazing woman I love,

I’m mad. I’m fired up. Why, you ask? Because at what point do you accept that you are as amazing as everybody else tells you you are? 

At what point do you have to stop going to the well of validation, to gain belief in the thing that is true about you? 

Real talk, you can either spend your life questioning and worrying about what other people think about you, or you can spend your life living and sharing your best self. It’s your choice.

I’m mad because I know who you are, I see who you are, I see that you’re worthy, and enough, and beautiful inside and out. 

I’m mad because you let someone else’s ego and immaturity creep into your head. 

I’m mad because you are robbing yourself of love, when you reside in that state of questioning your self and your worthiness. 

All I have to give you is love and support. Sooooo, you rebuff my, and other’s, love, to appease your “not enoughness?” You rebuff your own love, because you would rather participate in someone else’s story about you? 

Fuck that shit. Fuck that well of validation that you keep making trips to. 

Every time we get caught up in what someone else thinks about us, and we start to question who we are, we are 100% caught up in imagination and stories that we cannot know the answer to. The only thing we can be certain of, assuming we are conscious enough, is the purity of our own heart, and our own intentions. So quit making up stories for other people. 

At what point do you decide to throw away the story that you’ve been marinating on? Quit worrying why they’re acting the way they are, or what they’re saying about you, because unless you are there, unless you are them, you cannot know. And besides that, it’s none of your business. And you’re wasting your time worrying about something that is all imaginary.

It’s easy to accept that you’re great and amazing, and a good person when there’s no one challenging that notion. 

At that point it’s essentially a passive acceptance. 

But at what point do you move into active responsibility and accountability for how you feel about you? 

At what point do you realize you’re wasting time and energy on falsehoods and lies?

At what point do you realize there’s no time to question your worthiness, your enoughness? 

At what point do you realize that you must be aggressive in holding your self responsible? 

You are responsible for how you feel about you.

Every second you spend questioning what others think, questioning whether you deserve poor treatment, questioning someone else’s motivation, is a second that you lost to spend time being your awesome self. 

Being that awesome mom, that awesome wife, that awesome employee, entrepreneur, friend.  Stripped of time, because you did not practice radical responsibility over your belief in who you are. 

It is time that you lost to love yourself, and give that love fully and completely to the present people in your life that are ready to receive it. 

YOUR TIME IS YOUR LIFE. And you are WASTING YOUR LIFE when you are in that state. Let that fucking sink in. 

You’re wasting your life, your breath, your very existence in a worry, a lie, an imaginary space.

What if we quit focusing on those around us that are confirming the falsehoods, and we instead focused our energy on the great love we possess for ourselves, and let it overflow onto the people that are ready to receive our love right now? 

What if we quit questioning why we “aren’t enough” to that one person, and started seeing how we could share our gifts and talents with the ones that truly see our hearts? 

If we’re not enough to them, then we are out of their league people! Eventually they will come around and want to be around your amazingness, or they won’t. But let’s be clear, that is their loss, knowing who you are.

If someone can’t see that your heart, and your intentions are pure, then that is 100% about them.
It’s like asking a blind person to see. They cannot. Their ego taints everything they see. 

They’re caught up in their own story about who they think they are, and who they think you are, and it strips them of the ability to see what actually is. 

So, I ask you this…

Who are you? What do you want out of life? 

At your heart, what do you want for your self and others?

What kind of mom do you want to be? What kind of lover do you want to be?

What kind of friend do you want to be in this world?

What kind of person do you want to be, and what kind of legacy will you leave to your children?

Because what you do, they will do.

What you say, they will say.

That shit is the greatest legacy you will leave to them. 

So, for fuck’s sake, I ask that you leave them this:

A legacy of acting out of kindness to yourself and others.

A legacy of being certain who you are, and what you wish to give to the world and others.

A legacy of serving yourself love, so you are able to share that love with everybody else.

A legacy of love, forgiveness, gratitude, and responsibility that starts with you, and then trickles down to all those around you. 

Not a fucking legacy of letting someone else determine how you feel about you.

Because know this, even though what I think doesn’t actually fucking matter, YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT. YOU ARE WORTHY. YOU ARE ENOUGH.

We all are.

We are worthy of exactly what we believe we are. 

And if you don’t think you are, change your fucking mind. Yesterday.

Don’t you dare talk about that shit, and not be about it.

Get aggressive with holding yourself responsible to this, because you, and those around you, fucking deserve that version of you. 

Show up in this fucking life for you. And in turn you will show up for everybody around you.

What would the world look like, if we showed up this way, if we believed these truths? 

No more excuses, no more. 

Go be your greatest self, and let everybody’s opinion die, except the one that matters most.

Your own.

Sincerely,

Cavewoman

P.S. Tag and share this with the amazing women in your life, that need to hear this. xo